MORE IN LIFE
It had salt water, not chlorine. When I returned from my swim, Mom looked at peace and said she felt "refreshed" and "calm," as I did. Isn't that amazing? In her final days, Mom even continued to read two newspapers daily who does that?
Much to my utter joy and profound relief, Mom also lasted long enough to see my second book, Beyond Sugar Shock , get published. Hay House published it in June. I invite you to read the book's dedication see below that I wrote for her. I'm so thankful that my Hay House editors kindly let me add it at the last minute.
In other words, knowing that she was going to die soon, Mom was determined to enjoy a dazzling end of life, spending many meaningful, memorable times alone, as well as with friends and loved ones, including me, of course. I'm grateful that Mom and I were able to share the simple, fun pleasure of finding grammatical errors in newspapers or books.
That's a love we both shared. I suspect that I became an author and journalist, in part, because of Mom's love for the English language and her interest in the world. I'm grateful that Mom took time, even in her final days, to teach me things that she felt are very important. Read below about some of her lessons. I'm grateful that Mom forgave me for the many times in the past when I disappointed her, "fell short," or did something "wrong. Likewise, I am grateful that I was able to forgive her, too.
I'm grateful that Mom said truly nice things about me to others behind my back.
She described me to her rabbi as a "wonderful, loving, supportive daughter with a heart of gold. I'm grateful that I was able to say goodbye to Mom the night before she passed away. I told her that it was okay to go, that I'm strong and that I'll be fine without her, that she had taught me a lot, that I'll think of her whenever I swim one of her favorite things to do , that I'll make her proud of me, and that she'd been a wonderful role model.
Now, here's the dedication my Hay House editors let me add at the last minute to my book, Beyond Sugar Shock , after I learned that Mom had stage 4 lung cancer. It comes right before the table of contents.
The Final Deadline
To my amazingly strong, talented, inspiring mom. Thank you for teaching me by your stellar example to believe in myself and to optimistically pursue my goals and dreams, to embrace the arts and other passions with a childlike enthusiasm, and to persevere no matter what. I feel like I have nothing to live for now. I felt mistakes were made and she could have been around longer.
Hello MW and welcome. So sorry you are feeling so rough. Please be assured that what you are feeling is natural; although we know in theory that our parents are likely to die before we do nothing prepares you for when it happens. If you read through some of the posts on this forum you will find quite a few people having similar thoughts and pain to those you describe. You might like to respond to some of their posts and discuss what you are going through.
My mum died and I can't cope with the loss
The funeral was only yesterday, don't expect too much from yourself and don't take too much notice of people giving you good advice; they mean well but I know it can be difficult to smile and be pleasant. Just take things one day at a time; there is no set timescale for grieving or the manner of grieving; you have to do what feels right for you.
Please feel you can come here at any time just to say how you are feeling and thinking about. Once a little time has passed you may think it a good idea to change your job not knowing anything about your situation I accept I cannot really comment to something that will stimulate you.
Best wishes. Hiya I completely understand where you are coming from I lost my mum suddenly in August and feel absolutely cheated! She was my best friend I was always doing stuff with her and enjoyed it! I welcomed my first born daughter in June and she was there to witness the birth everything in my life was great she helped throughout my whole pregnancy. Then suddenly about mid July she started to get a cough and became really tired we all thought it was a chest infection well come early August she was admitted to hospital and a couple of days later died.
I cannot believe it or understand this awful timing she was so excited to be a first time nan and then feel god just whipped her away from us both. I have to carry on for my baby and to be fair I want to for her because she needs her mum but everyday I wake up angry at the situation I am in this was not in the plan and feel I will be gutted about it for the rest of my life I really search for answers that one day we will be able to meet again.
Oh annie liz it is so traumatic to lose your mum. I lost my mum 4 years ago and miss her just as much but manage to get on with life. Your grief is so new and raw just now and it is absolutely normal to feel how you do. Your mum would want you to be happy and eventually you will emerge a stronger person and she will always be with you in your heart and mind. Let yourself grieve and slowly very slowly the world will start turning again.
Take care of yourself. Hi MW I am genuinely sorry to read your post and believe although I cannot start to fully understand exactly your own feelings I hope you dont mind me telling you that I felt deeply that life wouldnt be worth living without my mum. It is a little over 3 years since my mum died and there are still days when i feel it is all too much. But I remeber all she taught me and how precious life is and i manage to carry on. I even laugh at the fun times we shared. I never thought I would smile again.
I wanted to shut myself away and indeed I did taking 9months off work and refusing to have people to my home or go out. My brother is ill now and Im finding it hard to cope but when I think of all he is having to go through, on top of his terminal diagnosis it makes me want to be strong for him, he amazes me daily. Inside Im terrified and want to bury my head in the sand but he is facing his mortality head on and I admire him.
He inspires me. I havent posted much on here but I think sometimes just being able to express your emotions anonymously and without judgement helps in some small way. It is so very true you must literally take things hour by hour and then day by day. I too still talk to mum.
Hi, sorry to hear about your pain. No, it doesn't get 'easier', your memories don't fade which is a good thing and you still remember the good times as well as the bad. Your emotions are something to embrace. Losing one's parents is a path we all have to walk along at some point and we all will handle it differently.
The Final Deadline: What Death Has Taught Me about Life
No one can understand exactly how you feel, even those who have lost their mum too. If you want to talk to her, then talk to her, aloud, quietly, however you want.
Things are actually as they were before your mum died, except you now have large amounts of wisdom you didn't have before. You have a family to be the best mum ever to. A family who also, will remember you as the fantastic mum that you are! Your life is far from empty what with all the commotion having a young family entails! Wrap yourself in your children and you'll find lots of love in them - do it now before they become grotty teens! Make sure you're eating healthily even when you don't feel like eating super important! This will help your body to help you.
Maybe join a club to meet new people. Don't feel guilty if you find yourself not thinking about your mum. You wrote about the trouble and pain you suffered after having your last child and that you braved through it. Clearly you can deal with more than you actually realise! Also, one thing which is really interesting to me: there's a branch of science quantum physics which calculates that there may be an infinite amout of parallel worlds filled with all of us where every possible difference exists - and stephan hawkings believes in this.
Well in another parallel world, you actually put on a different coloured top. Did you rush to the shop to get some milk? In another parallel world, you rushed, tripped and fell in a muddy puddle! And because there are so many parallel universes, that means there are many, many of them that still have your mum in them, and she's still spreading her love to you and everyone else.
Harold Prince Dead: Broadway Icon Produced ‘West Side Story’, ‘Fiddler’, ‘Phantom’ – Deadline
So that's something to be happy about! I find it hard with the first milestones. My little one is 18 months now and Im so grateful my mum got nearly months with him. Like u I saw my mum every day. I dreamt once that she phoned me it felt so real as if I heard her voice. I wish I could have a dream like that and where she guides me or speaks to me.
Most of my dreams are about going to the hospital with her for tests and they tell me she's going to be OK. I wake up so excited and full of hope only for my world to crash down again to realise that she's already gone. Thank you for your comforting words, they mean alot.